Only to make matters worse
by TheLoveInTheStories
Summary: Bella has always had a horrible life. Her parents fight, her mom cheats, she is unpopular, is about to move away from her only friends, AND she is in love with a guy that she has NEVER talked to. How will she cope? ALL HUMAN. ExB. based on my life.
1. Memories: Part One

Well. The Better summary is:

Bella has always had a horrible life. Her parents fight, her mom cheats, she is unpopular, she is about to move and leave her friends, and she likes a certain guy that she hasn't ever even TALKED to. She is always falling for those kinds of guys. Anyone that will even take the chance to notice that someone is there. That she isn't invisible. Not caring why they did notice her. Just that someone did. Her mom is a bitch, her sister is only still in this world because of her family, and her brother is an easy forgiver. What will she do to cope? Regular pairings. All Human.

**I hope that you people like this story, and I am glad if somebody likes it. I just feel glad that I can found this way to release all my secrets, without anybody knowing who I am. If you didn't know, this is based on my life, and everything in this is pretty much what happens in my life. Change your names, and then, hey, you know everything about me. Hope you guys like it. Read and Review please.**

I woke up from my nap, and saw my sister, Rose, crying, looking at something, so I turned to see what it was.

I didn't know what was happening as I saw my parents yelling at each other, by the door, my mom with a suitcase in hand.

"Renee, please, don't leave…" my dad begged

"I can't stand it here! I'm not happy with you anymore," my mom said

"Don't, please. Just don't."

"I'm sorry. I have to."

"That's it though. You _don't_ have to. So why are you? Why are you leaving your husband, let alone your _own _kids?" my father asked

"I told you. I'm not happy anymore. I have to leave. I'm sorry," My mom said, not looking the least bit sorry for what she was doing; she didn't even look sad.

How messed up.

I ran over to my parents, standing in between them. They didn't even notice my presence. They just stood there, still fighting.

Rosalie came over to me, pulling me away, while I struggled to get to my mother, not wanting her to leave.

How foolish I had been. I didn't know that I would hate my mother eventually.

That was 9 years ago. **(AN: she is now 13)**

I can barely remember it, but I can; Much to my displeasure.

When I was 4 years old, my parents split up; because my mother had no longer loved my father. He was torn and broken, and at that age I was too little to know the effect that my mother leaving had on him. I was too little to know that my mother didn't love me. I was too little to know that she left him for another man. James.

_After Renee walked out that door, my dad was sitting on his knees, just staring at it. My sister ran over to my dad and hugged him, while he cried. He then got up slowly, with an empty look in his eyes, and walked towards his bedroom at the end of the hall. _

_He lent down to my sister, _**(AN: Rosalie was 8 years old. And Jasper was almost 3) **_and whispered to her, though I don't think he wanted to whisper…just that he couldn't find his voice, "I'm so sorry that I let this happen. I didn't try to make her stay, it's my fault. Would you please go and make sure that your brother and sister are okay?"_

_My sister just looked at him, still crying. Not because my mother had left us, but because our father was just so broken._

_Rosalie did as she was asked, and walked over to me and my brother, knowing that he had NO idea what was going on, and didn't know that my mom was gone for good._

I knew that my father was sad when she left, and I knew that my sister was too. I could remember that.

I could remember that my dad loved his children with all of his heart. He used to paint me and Rose's toenails because he was the best at it.

I could remember he taught all of us to play baseball and football.

I could remember, me and my sister putting on fashion shows for my dad, because we liked to dress up.

I could remember my sister trying to find me something for my show and tell, and accidentally grabbing a _real _snake.

And I could remember that us kids stayed at my grandparents' house for a whole week because of that.

I wish that was all I could remember. Just the good times; but I wasn't so fortunate.

I could remember my dad, curled up on the bathroom floor, silently crying and staring at nothing. He was blank. Numb.

I could remember my sister walking in on my dad. He was sitting in his pitch black room, staring at the black pistol lying on the table.

I could remember my dad, when he woke up alone the next morning.

_______________________

I knew that my mom was gone, but I didn't know the meaning of her words when she said them. I didn't know the real reason why she left my dad and us kids. I didn't know that she didn't love me or anyone for that matter.

My brother and I thought that she was just going to work late, again.

We later found out that she really was gone. And we thought that she wasn't coming back. But she did. And she ruined our lives all over again.

**AN: well, hoped you liked it. Review please!**


	2. Memories: Part Two

**I hope that you people like this story, and if you read it PLEASE review so I know what you think. Hope you guys like it.**

_LAST CHAPTER…._

_I could remember my dad, when he woke up alone the next morning._

_________________________

_I knew that my mom was gone, but I didn't know the meaning of her words when she said them. I didn't know the real reason why she left my dad and us kids. I didn't know that she didn't love me or anyone for that matter. _

_My brother and I thought that she was just going to work late, again._

_We later found out that she really was gone. And we thought that she wasn't coming back. But she did. And she ruined our lives all over again._

CHAPTER TWO:

My mom has dated A LOT of men in her life, but none of those men were as bad as James.

He was the one Renee left my dad for.

He was the one who beat my sister, me, and my brother.

And he was the one who was a complete ass.

_Rose and I grabbed onto my moms legs, not wanting her to go to the grocery store because then we would be alone with him._

_We knew what was going to happen the minute she left, and we didn't want that to happen._

_Especially not to Jasper._

**(AN: Rose was almost 10, Bella was 6 and Jasper was 4.)**

Rose always told us that she was happy that Jasper and I weren't beat as bad as she was.

I on the other hand, was NOT happy. She didn't deserve it. She didn't do anything wrong. She was better than me. I should have been getting beat more than her.

_James walked up to me and my sister as my mom walked out of the door._

"_Go finish your dinner," he spat at us_

_We almost ran to the table, not wanting to give him a reason to hit us._

"_Ew." I said. It was macaroni and ketchup. Mixed._

_That one word pretty much ruined it for him not hurting us._

"_What do you mean 'ew'?" he yelled, "This is a great meal; now eat your fucking dinner!"_

"_Don't yell at my sister," Rose said quietly_

_But not quiet enough._

_He looked at her. Then grabbed her by the hair, and dragged her across the living room floor, making her hit everything in sight._

_Walking into us kids' room, he threw her at the bunk bed pole, hitting her square in the back._

_He smiled as she screamed in pain._

James was the worst one of all, by far. The worst part was that he threatened us. He told us that he would kill Renee if we told her that he beat us. And we listened.

We didn't tell our mother.

_She came home about a half hour after the beating, carrying the groceries in. Rose limped over to her, helping her put them away._

"_Why are you limping?" she asked_

"_I, uh, accidentally fell off of the bunk bed…" she lied easily, sneaking glances at James_

_My mom started laughing._

"_That's just like you Rose, always clumsy. Not as clumsy as Bella, though…." She said after she stopped laughing._

The beating hurt, don't get me wrong.

But the thing that hurt the most was the fact that my mom believed that he didn't hurt us.

Trusted him more.

_________________________________

I guess that Laurent wasn't as bad as James. He didn't beat us, for one.

He absolutely "loved" us.

Yeah right.

He was only in it for the sex. Just like the rest of them. Though I am sure that Renee didn't mind.

That's the only reason she was in it too.

Laurent owned an ice cream shop, so, of course, Jasper and I loved him. But Rose wasn't so easily fooled. **(AN: Rose was 11, Jasper was 5, and Bella was 7)**

She knew that he didn't really love us.

She knew what was in the cruel world.

She knew the truth.

________________________________

It sounds like we were always with our mom, but in reality, we only saw her one day of the week: Saturday.

I used to ask my dad every couple of minutes when she was going to pick us up.m

In four hours. In three hours. In two hours. In one hour. Soon.

He'd say.

I used to be so impatient when it came to waiting for my mom. I loved her so much. Emphasis on the loved part. I used to love her.

Now I can't even look at her.

______________________

I can't remember this, but I know that my parents went to court to see who got what from the divorce.

I used to ask my mom why she only got one day with us out of the week.

And she would respond with a "Your father got a good lawyer." And I believed her.

But, reality strikes again.

My mom didn't want to go to court for us. We were useless to her. She didn't want us.

She was going to leave us with my dad forever, but my dad convinced her that we needed her, so she didn't go.

She just agreed to see us once a week.

How nice of a mom to do. Right?

Anyways…We hardly saw her or my dad, because he was always working so hard at keeping the house and keeping us well fed.

It didn't exactly work so well. Sure, we kept the house, and sure, we were fed.

But we couldn't even afford cereal.

We would sleep at our house, wake up, walk across the street to our grandparents, eat breakfast, go to school, come back to our grandparents, eat dinner, then go home to sleep.

And then it started all over again the next day.

It wasn't sad, really, we were all fine with it… we just weren't fine with the fact that we hardly saw our dad.

He started the job of being the Chief of Police soon after my mom left.

And would work late most nights… but sometimes he came home… which was pretty awesome.

_____________________________

**(AN: she isn't remembering her past anymore, she is living in the present now.)**

I walked out of my room, sadly, and went towards our living room, noticing that Rose was here with her boyfriend, Emmett; As usual.

Rose was pregnant now and living in an apartment near us with him.

This was great, because we got to see her a lot. It was better than not seeing her at all.

Especially after she left soon after my mom came back.

**(AN: Rose is 19, Jasper is 15, Bella is 16, and Emmett is 20)**

She left because of her. And I will never forgive Renee for that.

My dad calls my room my cave.

Because I never leave it; And because it's always dark in there.

I guess I never really found a reason to leave it.

Just like I never found a reason to live.

Yet I still am, aren't I?

**AN: WOW, I am SO sorry…. I was planning on doing more from the present this chapter….SORRY, I promise I will do it next chapter, okayy? And no worries, Edward and Alice will be coming soon enough….just wait**

**Well, hoped you liked it. Review please! Cuz u kno u wanna click that button. Go ahead, click it. Please? **


	3. Authors note, sorry

**AN: **

**I am really sorry. I know I was supposed to update a long time ago, but I recently moved, so I had to pack and unpack all my crap, and then I had to go to a new school, and had a crap load of homework. Then, to top it all off, my computer crashed, so I lost all the chapters that I wrote up for this story. So now I have to type them all up again, and all that.**

**I will try to update whenever I can, but I CANT promise them every few days….**

**Again, sorry**


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